The "Joyful Ones" Among Us!

Think about it for a minute... Is there some special person in your life who always cares about everyone else's happiness, more than they do their own? 

Do you know anyone who always hums or sings to themselves while they do the worst jobs?

Here’s my sister-in-law, Katie, spraying some atrocious thing to ward off mosquitoes around our campground: happy as a clam! She had the same look on her face while pressure washing my deck for 9 hours.  These people don’t seek joy, they bring it to every situation.

They are the same people who sit quietly when others are complaining, and then chime in at the end with a comment about the bright spot in the situation.

Not long ago I was reading a great book about happiness and the author, Matthieu Ricard, referred to these people as "the joyful ones among us."

I was rooted where I sat.

That term so perfectly explains my sentiment towards a few people I know who have an indomitable, happy spirit. And yet, most of us barely stop to notice that these important and very rare people in our lives are often the heroes in very tough moments.

Have I got you thinking about the joyful ones in your life?

First, let’s sort out who belongs in this category of “heroes.”

They are not necessarily all the really nice people in our lives.

Nice people can be high or low right along with the rest of us. They are just easier to get along with in the low points. They are nice! They will indicate they agree with us, even when they don't. They can take on too many responsibilities in order to be well-liked. They can be the ones with all the ideas, organizing everyone and everything; they make life easier. But that’s not the same as these joyful ones. 

Here’s the difference: if you ask a true joyful one, “how are you?”, they’ll almost always redirect their answer into how you are!

If you ask them what they want to do, or what they need, they’ll always work things out so you are happy.

They forgive and forget really easily, almost to a fault. 

Their joy comes from the joy of others.

And when a situation is going off the rails, all the while they are smiling and negotiating everyone’s needs. The joyful ones dance around a room as fast as they can to keep the peace.

Think for a minute… are you lucky enough to know a few “joyful ones in your life?”

Are you one of the joyful ones?

One of the reasons this term “the joyful ones” stopped me dead in my tracks was that I realized I was not one of them: I am really nice but I have my mood swings and can be demanding about having the details done exactly right.

I care if others are happy, but I assume far too much about what should make them happy, so I tend to make all the decisions in that direction.

I forgive really easily, but I rarely forget the transgressions of others.

I also realize that the rest of us take the joyful ones for granted at best and, at worst, we push their good nature to the limits sometimes.

If someone has set me off, I’m not going to be humming while cleaning the bathroom,.. I’m going to be going over and over the situation in my head while I work.

If you are really honest about yourself, does any of that sound a little familiar?

Becoming more like a Joyful One

Since realizing who the joyful ones are in my life – in my life I have two, true “joyful ones” –  I’ve been trying to be better around them: I’m quick to celebrate their gift and I tell them frequently that I’m trying to model their unique brand of grace.  I’m trying to consciously avoid taking advantage of their tendency to forgive and forget. I’m trying to care about their happiness before my own more often.

And most important of all, I have told them I think they are a “joyful one” and I have thanked them profusely for including me in their life, such as I am.

In the photo above, you see my sister-in-law, Katie (a  joyful one extraordinaire) working hard to keep everyone fed and happy, and I’m the one with the pirate patch over my eye. Funny, huh? It’s a telling photo because it points to the roles that each of us plays on the family farm that we share.

Many of us can be like pirates, stealing the joy of others when we are not our best selves.

While I am trying to do MUCH better these days, Katie is a joyful one.

I'm a "joyful one wanna-be".

Let's thank those humble, almost always happy people in our lives. They keep the ship afloat for everyone, much of the time!